Catchy headline, right? Except, I'm not here to discuss ancestral DNA. Hello friends, and happy Sunday. I love Sunday's, as you know if you've read my blog for awhile now, yet something about the first Sunday of the New Year always feels so...fresh. I want to thank everyone who reached out on my birthday with well wishes; and if you didn't know, on January 1st, I rang in my twenty third birthday in exactly the way I could've wished, with a small group of loved ones, good food, out of this world cocktails, and an unimaginable amount of belly laughs. As I reflected on what blog post to post today, I felt as though it would be inauthentic to me, if I weren't to share personal insight, tips, words of advice, and lessons, that I've learned, and am grateful for.
Every year on my birthday, my aunt writes me a card, of (my age being turned inserted here) lessons she's learned, and every year it changes. It's old lessons, with packed on lessons she's even still learning with every new year that passes. So without any more rambling, here's my advice - from one friend, to another.
Love yourself, endlessly.
It's such an easy thing to say, and say to other's, yet is the biggest lesson of all. Without being in love with yourself, you'll never be able to fully share your full love for other things in life, relationships, your passion projects, and the list goes on. Take the time you need for yourself to heal, and accept healing is part of every life stage, and pain is normal, if you didn't feel pain, you'd be dead, let's be real. Find everything you love about yourself and write a list, explore on what you're feeling uneasy about. Often that not, we may loose sight of ourselves true authenticity, but we just have to do some digging, and eventually, it'll all realign, just remember, love yourself first.
Never forget to continue learning, there's always more.
You know when you're younger, or maybe even now, you're arguing with a parent, and they make a comment along the line, "You think you know everything." Well, we (including myself) feel like we do in that very moment, however in a larger perspective, we're so far from holding all the knowledge, in fact when we're eighty we still won't! There is always so much to learn, from books, classes, and of course, each other. The new cooking class you've been dying to take? Take it! The book that's too long, and you need to dust off a bit to read? Read it, you don't know what the book could teach you. The conversation you've been waiting to have that may be a bit uncomfortable? Have it, it'll probably teach you more about life, or yourself, than you thought it could. Life is weird in the way it teaches, but in everything there's a lesson.
Letting people go isn't easy.
This seems like such an easy statement, that everyone reads and goes, "duh!" Well it is easy, but we often make our lives look like it isn't. How often does someone leave another's life only to be replaced by another, or you see someone after a breakup gloating about how much better off they are? Now in circumstances where relationships are toxic to begin with, it's a different story, however if you just stop to think - that relationship was there for a reason. It's okay to admit you miss someone, something, or a place that was so deeply connected to you. A friendship, that was so deeply rooted in routine of loyalty, it's okay to note that you will miss that person, and maybe that friendship will not be replaced. It isn't to say you won't meet new people, with new experiences, but we need to stop living life thinking that everything is so easily replaceable.
It's okay to be honest, and vulnerable.
If 2020 taught us anything, it's the important of human contact. Often, I find our generation is scared to lay it all on the table, myself included. We put our ego first, afraid of what could come from the action of doing what we want. However, what if we lived our life without a filter, and did everything, being honest with ourselves? It's so much better, and easier. To be honest with our friends, family, and partners, and vulnerable. We have these support systems for just that reason, to love us unconditionally. So be honest with yourself, and vulnerable with others.
Picking up another career path isn't failure, it's a new passion.
This is a rather personal lesson of 2020, that taught me pretty rough. As you know, I've been a makeup artist for years, and as of the last three I became a licensed esthetician as well. Which truly has been my career passion, loving every aspect of the job. However COVID hit my industry pretty hard, and also hit my state of New York pretty bad as well, which put me, and I'm sure many other artists, out of work for quite some time. I spent months in a funk, not knowing where to turn next, because I hate having idle time on my hands - which is why this blog has been such an amazing passion project of mine, and is often where I turn to release my thoughts, tips, and knowledge for an audience willing to read. However, recently, I was given an opportunity to another career path, which has been in the back of my mind for awhile now, and my subconscious put it into fruition in the end of a dark tunnel for me. It's funny how things work, but accepting that for now, makeup is becoming my second income, and not first, is not a failure, it's a blessing. I haven't shared this on any socials, so if you're reading this, it's definitely a first for you to hear, but it really is something I'm grateful for, but trust me, my passion for esthetics and makeup is going no where.
Adulting isn't easy, and I'm no where near peak adulthood!
I remember being younger, and saying, "I can't wait till I'm twenty one, and have my life together," well, younger Samantha, I'm now twenty three and my life is still no where together. However, it is absolutely amazing. Accepting adulting isn't easy, is the best part of adulthood, it's where you find laughter in the everyday mistakes of being an adult. Things become harder, but the best part of things becoming more difficult is you understanding you are in control to how you reply to things trying to destroy your everyday peace, and you holding the power? Now that's the coolest.
Take care of your body, you only get one!
2020, the year of at home work outs, weird diet TikTok fads, and so many more weird health trends. Well let's be real, how many of us truly stuck to our 2020 resolution of being healthy and getting into a fitness routine? If you did, kudos! However, I know I wasn't hitting the marks I wanted to, mostly due to my own fault as well. Yet, I know that it isn't because I wasn't crushing a 45 minute cardio routine every morning, or drinking gallons of lemon water; it was because of my routine. Developing a routine that incorporates your pillars of fundamentals, is KEY to developing a system that actually takes care of your body. For example, I don't let myself look at my phone for an hour after waking up, in that hour, I get done everything I need to without distractions, clean up the house a bit, write my to do's, do a stretch session, maybe some yoga depending on the mood, then when my hour is up, it's crunch time to the real world. Yet, in that hour I was able to quiet my mind, and do something to get my body moving. I guess with all this rambling I'm trying to say, hydrate your body, nourish it with health, move your body, clear your headspace, it'll help you all around.
Gratitude, have it plentifully!
I'm sure you've all heard it, "what are you grateful for?" But have you actually sat there and thought? What's something everyday you take advantage of that brings joy to your day? Mine's my coffee. That little 16 oz cup of pure joy brings my morning such bliss. Isn't that feeling the best? Now imagine, every morning and evening, ending the night with that same feeling of being grateful for whatever brought you joy that day? The past year is when I really began incorporating my gratitude lists into everyday routine - my favorite app for it is the 5 Minute Journal, which is super easy, and at the palm of your finger tips, or you can simply write it on a piece of paper, save it and any time you're feeling a bit down, look at how much gratitude you have.
Relationships aren't meant to be difficult.
This year I blossomed into a beautiful, abundant, happy, and healthy relationship. Entering 2021 with a partner by my side, who is also my best friend, and confidant is a wonderful feeling. However this isn't why I'm writing this little segment. I'm writing this because finally, I've learned a major lesson that seems so obvious, relationships aren't meant to be difficult. No one said they're easy, but by no means are they difficult. Communication is key, and if you have that with your partner, alongside trust, you can conquer quite a lot. Sharing your soul with someone is a privilege, and both of you should feel the same way about that, two wholes can only make for a lifetime of fulfillment, do not have the mentality that someone completes you, cause only you complete yourself; but allow your partner to compliment what you lack, and you compliment what they may struggle in, let it be a tango of two beautiful souls.
Don't stop at anything to forgive yourself, and your past.
We all have instances we wish never happened, people we never met, conversations we wish we never had, the text we never sent, and the list goes on. However this goes hand in hand with being vulnerable, the more vulnerable you are, the less what if's you'll have; which in case, leaves to less grief. I struggle with forgiveness, I think everyone does, but this isn't a therapy session, this is me, just a simple girl from New York, telling you to stop harping on what happened, and start focusing on your next action, rather than your already happened experience. Start living in the moment, forgive your mistakes, learn from them, forgive the people that hurt you, and hope they never get hurt the way they hurt you, wish people well more often, and live positively, it'll only shine brighter back onto you.
Now, of course this is no card from my aunt listing an amazing twenty three lessons I've learned; but by no means do I have the keys to success at only twenty three, I hope to be there someday, but I still have so much to learn, but these lessons? I know that these touched my heart, and resonate deep within me, and I hope that you, can take some, or maybe just one, to bring into 2021 with you. Hoping this year brings joy, success, health, positivity, and love into all your life, and let us live it to the fullest.